Remember the electricity between you and your sweetie in the early days of your relationship? You could turn them on with a sultry look from across the room, and it didn’t take more than a kiss to get you both revved up. Your honeymoon might be in the (distant) past, but that doesn’t mean you can’t keep that thrilling, sexy feeling going with a few tips and tricks. Here’s how to make the honeymoon phase last forever:
Communication
It doesn’t sound sexy on the surface (unless we’re talking about dirty talk), but good communication is what keeps a relationship strong, in and out of the bedroom. During your honeymoon phase, you probably didn’t need to talk much about your needs and wants. You were both so excited and eager to please that your honeymoon sex was thrilling and explosive without much effort.
But after a while, it’s just a fact that you need to check in, identify what you want and what’s not ideal, and work together to make things exciting for both of you.
It can be hard to talk about your needs without making your partner feel inadequate. Try emphasizing the positive and stating what you do want, rather than what you don’t. Instead of saying “I hate that we only use missionary position these days”, try turning your conversation into a sexy one: “Remember when I used to ride you until we’d both cum? Let’s try that again.”
Exploration
Honeymoon sex often goes one of two ways: you’re so in love that you both want slow, sensual lovemaking OR you’re so excited that you go all out in bed and try new positions, toys, or role-playing.
That spirit of exploration is what can sometimes fade later in the relationship. Even if you’re having sex regularly, and you know how to make each other cum easily, you might have forgotten the fun of trying something new and testing each others’ boundaries.
The good news is that it’s easy to get that excitement back. Order a new toy without telling your partner and whip it out the next time you’re getting down. Wear something sexy under your regular clothes all day, until you can’t wait to strip for your partner. Or just be straight with them: “I want to try something new. Got any ideas?” A few light bondage videos later, you might discover your new favorite activity.
Some ideas to get you started:
- Rope play: Known as shibari or kinbaku, the world of rope bondage offers opportunities for you and your partner to explore the aesthetic, emotional, and physical pleasures of playing with rope. Make sure to study up on safety before diving in, and invest in some quality bondage ropes – then go ahead and get tied up!
- Sex in public: If you both feel comfortable trying this, a little exhibitionism can amp up your desire. If you want the thrill of public sex with less risk of getting caught, try a tryst in your own backyard, or even in your car while it’s parked safely in your garage.
- Role-playing: When you’ve been with your partner so long you have every mole on their back memorized, a little role-play can shake things up. Doctor, schoolgirl, police officer – don’t be afraid to get creative, even if it feels silly at first.
- Watching porn: Porn isn’t just for guys, and it isn’t just for masturbation. Explore some quality porn with your partner and find something that turns you both on.
- BDSM: Bondage, domination, sadism, masochism. BDSM really means playing with power, at whatever level you’re comfortable with. Maybe you just want your partner to hold your hands down during sex, or you want to explore a little farther with restraints and whips. As long as you communicate and have well-established boundaries, BDSM can add a lot of spark to your sex life.
- New Sex Toys: An easy way to spice things up is to try a new toy. It can be a huge turn-on to pick out a toy together, but it’s also fun to surprise your partner. Consider something like a Bondage Kit or an Over-The-Bed Restraint if you want to branch out beyond vibes and dildos.
Be prepared to go outside of your comfort zone to keep things exciting. As Dan Savage is fond of saying, the best partners are GGG – “good, giving, and game”. You’ll obviously have some limits, but don’t automatically say no to something just because it’s unfamiliar. If you’re open to trying things that are more satisfying to your partner, they should return the favor and explore your own fantasies. Hopefully, you’ll find something that pushes both of your buttons and will inevitably make the honeymoon phase last.
Duties Outside of the Bedroom Can Help Make the Honeymoon Phase Last
There are a few aspects of your relationship outside the bedroom that can affect your sex life. During your honeymoon phase, you probably didn’t have to worry about housekeeping, parenting, or financial issues. You were probably also younger and healthier and didn’t have to give much thought to health issues affecting your performance in the sack.
It can be hard to feel sexy when you’re knee-deep in laundry or dirty diapers or anxious about your budget. But that’s the reality of being in a committed partnership, and it doesn’t have to drag down your sex life. Making sure that you’re evenly sharing household chores, supporting each other emotionally, and staying on the same page with parenting and financial decisions can go a long way toward improving your spark in bed and rekindling your honeymoon phase. If something is bothering you, get it out in the open before it hinders your enjoyment of your partner. Couples counseling can be a great way to work through issues if you’re having trouble talking about them on your own.
Staying on top of your overall health is another way to keep your sex life going strong. That doesn’t mean you have to lose weight or be ripped to enjoy great sex, just that you should deal with any health issues that are getting in the way of your sexual pleasure, like fatigue, low desire, or performance issues. It’s easy to be embarrassed and put off talking to your doctor about stuff like that, but your partner will appreciate it if you tackle those issues head-on.
With a little effort, you and your partner can easily make the honeymoon phase last and keep it glowing- you might even find that the sex gets better as your relationship matures! Contact us for more sex advice, toys, games, and clothing to keep things hot.
