10 Tips for your First Time to Have Anal Sex

10 Tips for your First Time to Have Anal Sex

Anal sex is no longer taboo, which also means most people are curious and eager to try. A recent Journal of Sexual Medicine poll states that about 1 in 5 sexually active people of both genders have had anal sex not just once but severally. Some confess to having the best experience, including a fantastic orgasm the very first time. 

Clinical sexologists also say that anal sex feels terrific because the anus has a considerable supply of sensitive nerves, making you orgasm quickly. 

With all the evidence tabled out there, anal sex may not be something you quickly jump in. It needs deliberate planning so that you get the fantastic feeling you ever imagined.

It is the first time, and the feeling can only be equal to the first time you broke your virginity. And it is why you would freak out as you think of pain and discomfort. 

But with lots of lube, most anal sex is pain-free and enjoyable. Before you attempt, though, it would be advisable to know a few dos and don’ts.

Here is a list of some of the best sex expert tips you can apply.

1. Apply Gradual Ease into Annual Play

You should never rush sex and especially anal, if it is the first time you are trying. The best way is to start slowly with various pre-anal explorations. 

Doing so prepares you both physically and psychologically for the ultimate complex entry. Even though the rectum tissues are just as elastic and usually go back to normal after sex, any difficult forceful entry can cause pain and freak you out. 

There are various ways to slowly ease your way into the anal canal, including inserting a finger and then two during those masturbation sessions. A smaller sex toy can also help in pain-free and comfortable anal penetration. Specially made anal vibrators can be your best bet too. Other best assistants include a butt plug or even a prostate dildo. Any of these can help you test the waters and see if you get immediate pleasure.

Meanwhile, if you have your partner, talk about how you can slowly begin together. Experts say the first time trying should be after a typical sex climax because the entire body is relaxed. 

Relaxation makes it easy for any penetration to occur without discomfort. Another easy method is taking a shower with your partner. While you do so, they can slowly apply and massage soapy water in the anal opening and then proceed with inserting the penis or sex toy.

2. Protection Is Vital During Anal Sex 

Protection is not just a reserve for vaginal sex. It is for all types, including anal. Besides STI transmission prevention, condoms are perfect in the reduction of friction, especially for beginners. 

Its smoothness allows for a much smoother entry. A few other risks accompany anal sex penetration.


The anal area tissues are untouched and fragile, such that first entry can cause tears, making the area prone to germs and bacteria. 

Also, chances of bacterial infection are high if you introduce vaginal sex immediately after anal sex. The same bacterial can quickly find their way into the bloodstream, which can endanger your health.

Safe sex experts also advise using a separate condom for each sex act to ensure no breakage. Another concern is lube use. Whenever you use lubes, go for water-based, as oil-based can easily cause condom breakage, exposing you to risk.

3. Openly Communicate with Your Partner

First-time anal sex can be a strange place to explore, and you do not know how the experience will be. So, if you are the receiver, you need to guide the penetration by speaking. Although some people would want to bear through it all because they do not want to be a disappointment, it is vital and even empowering to say if it hurts or is excellent.

Keeping an open line of communication for beginner anal sex can be the only way you have a unique first experience. 

Assuming you are the one giving, then be slow and gentle, not just for you but the recipient. You can have a specific code word that can indicate if your partner is enjoying or uncomfortable. 

As a receiver, feedback is critical because your partner can then know if to speed up the intensity or withdraw altogether. Establish code words for pain and code words for pleasure for your giving partner to take the cue. 

Have that particular word for slowing too. All those preset words are vital in making both of you well-supported as you embark on anal play for the first time.

4. Choose a Suitable Anal Section Position

Sex position matters when it comes to comfort and ultimate enjoyment. And being the first time for anal, careful choice of the sex position can be a game-changer. Most beginners would think doggy style is about all there is. But you will be surprised that this position is not as comfortable as you could have imagined.

So, which other best anal play position can you assume? Sex experts often recommend lying side by side so that the top spoons the bottom. You can also have the bottom lying at the stomach area. 

Then, have the top behind for smoother penetration. Another best beginner position is to lie back on a stack of pillows. Then if you are the giving partner, slowly insert the fingers or toy up your receiving partner’s butt while they gently straddle.

But even if you go for the missionary style, ask your partner to go in ever so slowly so that while you are holding their chest, they can thrust as you guide them about the intensity. Whatever position you decide on, discuss it with your partner beforehand. Ensure any sex position goes hand and hand with safety so that none of you physically hurts.

5. Practice Good Hygiene Before and After Anal Sex

Why do most people hesitate a bend-over? The assumption is anal penetration equals poo. While clinical sexologists say the anus and rectum’s lower pat consist of negligible fecal matter, it is common sense to keep the area clean. 

So, before you engage in the act, do a bathroom visit at least an hour before. Other beginner moves include massaging and even rinsing the entry with mild soapy water. 

If you are the receiving partner, doing an enema a few hours to the act would be an excellent idea. An enema is suitable for cleaning out any dirt and flushing out the bacteria in the lower parts of the rectum. 

Still, be careful, as douching can sometimes be complicated. It is also a leading cause anal and stomach lining irritation. Another great hygiene tip is to lie on towels as you engage. Alternatively, do the whole sex act in the shower, which helps to minimize any resulting mess.

Assuming you are using a sex toy, then keep it thoroughly clean. An unwashed sex toy can be the breeding ground of harmful bacteria, fungi, and even viruses, all of which increase infection risk. 

Most adult toys come with cleaning instructions, but mild soapy water is an ideal cleaning agent if yours doesn’t have one. Since it is not good to submerge or soak, you can just gently but carefully wipe off any dirt with the liquid. 

Then again, never share your sex toy with others. However, if it happens, then dress it up with a condom to avoid any STI transmission. Also, do a nail check if you use fingers before an anal insertion. Clean, trim, and remove all the jagged edges. 

Be careful not to double-dip, moving your fingers from the anus to the vagina to avoid a mix-up of dirt and harmful bacteria.

6. Have Lots of Lube on Standby

The anus doesn’t naturally produce lubrication as the vagina does. It is a dry area that can cause friction and tears accompanied by pain if you go in there without lubrication. To avoid this discomfort, massage and rub the anal area with lube for smooth entry. 

You can pick from the water-based or silicone-based lubes, both of which are safe to use. These also go well with latex condoms. But you can also interchange so that if you are using a silicone-based sex toy, let it go with a water-based lube. Why, because silicone to silicon can fast wear out the sex toy. 

You can also experiment more with a heated or warm lube. A hot lube has those comfort and pleasurable effects compared to a colder one. The heat increases blood flow and stimulation along the anal lining, helping you enjoy the first-time experience.

Start by carefully lubricating the rim area, and then proceed a little deeper into the anus. If you decide to foreplay before the actual act, let lubrication be part of the session. Then remember to apply the same lube to the penis, fingers, or sex toy, whatever you use for anal penetration.

7. Tease the Anal Area with a Sex Toy First

Most sex experts recommend first try anal sex with a toy. A nicely chosen sex toy can help you to explore, play, and have a general feel of the experience. Since the anal canal doesn’t open and closes automatically as the vagina does, any mistake could have the toy stick. Of course, that is something you want to avoid at all costs.

So, pick only a suitable one that quickly goes in out without issues. In this case, a small anal plug would something with which to start. With it, you can begin to have a feel of the fullness of the area. As it is touching on those very sensitive nerves, you can immediately decide if it is pleasurable.

Assuming you are trying it on your own, which is advisable, you can know if anal penetration is for you. Later you can try it with a partner because you would have attained the confidence to push ahead. 

8. Engage in Some Foreplay Before Anal Sex 

While the theoretical part of anal sex involves inserting the penis or toy into your partner’s butt, you must prepare and relax the recipient figuratively. In this case, foreplay should almost be mandatory to ready the area for penetration.

So how do you make the anal foreplay hot for the eventual act? Well, you can begin with talking about and setting a few boundaries. You can also agree on what you are comfortable with before, during, and after sex.

Other than that, have in mind that anal sex can sometimes be a messy affair. So it is prudent to line up those towels. Have the lube, toys, and anything else readily on standby, too.

Then together with your partner, engage in various types of body stimulation. Even if the anus is the primary center for penetration, gently touching and arousing other body parts places you in the perfect mood for anything, including going down your butt. 

If you are receiving, let your partner touch or use their mouth on your genitals. Sometimes a sex toy, say a vibrator, would increase the sensation leading to a pleasurable orgasm during anal sex. Another excellent foreplay method is massage. Have your partner massage the anal canal gently, thrusting around and in before insertion. Experiment with various foreplay acts before the actual entry for ultimate relaxation and readiness.

9. Use Various Relaxation Techniques Before Anal Sex

The truth is, it can be challenging to budge into an anal encounter without some essential preparation. And so besides the common foreplay, you can also throw in some relaxation tackles to make you entirely ready.

A few techniques include immersing yourself in a warm soapy bath, which also helps you clean the anus before the deed. Another great way to relax and be at ease is via masturbation.

But you can also have your partner sensually massaging your entire body. Doing so releases all the tension in the muscles, including the anal ones, which then yield to penetration easily.

10. If You Are Not into It, Don’t Do It

Anal sex is not for everyone, and if you hate it the first few times you try, then do not do it. Remember, everyone has their sexual inhibition. For example, you might feel a distinct difference in your body and may not have that sensation to proceed with anal sex. 

All types of sex are supposed to be fun and enjoyable. Assuming this one doesn’t bring the magic, then it is not your thing, and you do not need to feel guilty about it.

In Conclusion

Most people confess to pleasurable anal sex. But it is not something you rush into, especially if it is your very first time. Lots of preparation, both physical and psychological, are crucial to helping you ease into the act. 

For instance, starting slow but sure helps the anal canal gradually begin to accommodate any penetration, including sex toys or penis. 

You also need not freak out because anal sex is not painful, especially with vast amounts of the right lube. Indeed, just like breaking of virginity, you could see some blood. Due to friction and tearing, it should not be cause for alarm, as it should go away with subsequent insertions.

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